Why is it, when we are little, adults tell us that no one is good enough, but when we get older, we’re told our expectations are “too high?” It seems that we reach a certain age, and our expectations are suddenly unrealistic. Like we could “age out” of deserving something so good for us. As if God were to love us less at 30 than at 16 and want less for our souls.
Is it possible that God has something so perfect for us, if only we were to have the faith and patience to wait for it? Could it be, the one who created the Heavens and the Earth, desires more for us than we desire for ourselves?
I’m often asked what my top desire for a husband is and I always answer, “A man seeking after God’s heart and practicing chastity.” I’ve spoken openly at churches for years about my vow to remain pure and wrote a blog about it last year. While purity is not a common goal for most people nowadays, it is certainly the topic to talk about. I get loads of questions from teens and adults on the subject when I open up about my vow to remain a virgin til marriage, and my “high expectations” for a husband. So, I decided to answer some of those questions. A few are from social media and the others are ones I’ve been asked in person. I picked just a few of my favorites so I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to message me more questions or thoughts. Purity, in and out of marriage, is so important to our souls. God wants more for us, if only we have the faith to get it.
Q: Is remaining a virgin difficult?
A: Yup. Making a promise doesn’t shut off your body – it takes a ton of prayer and discipline.
Q: Do you find dating hard?
A: Yes and no. No, because it acts like a filter with guys. Yes, because sometimes that filter is a little too good. I am still single after all.. lol.
Q: Did your parents make you put on a purity ring?
A: Love this question! And NO! I asked for it when I was 12 and my parents sat me down and talked to me about it. They wanted to make sure I knew what I promising before I made the vow. Then they promised to be there for me if I ever had questions or felt like I wanted to change my mind. They also said they wouldn’t ask if I ever took the ring off. It was always my decision… though I know they’re really happy I made it. 🙂
Q: So you will only date a man “practicing chastity”?
Q: Don’t you think you’re setting the bar too high? We’re all human and we all make mistakes.
One, yes we’re all human and we all make mistakes. I am forever thankful to serve a merciful God who forgives us and makes us new again! However, we must first acknowledge our sin and promise to “go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11) We have to both be striving for Christ in our hearts so that our bodies follow. It’s not that I refuse to date a guy because he’s human and made mistakes, but if I’m the only one saying no, it will be all too easy to slip up. There is a HUGE difference in a guy that respects your decision to wait, and a man who desires to wait with you. The one that respects your decision to wait is also the one that respects your decision to change your mind in the heat of the moment. The one that desires to wait with you will be your accountability. It won’t be you having to control two bodies. It’s each person in the relationship making the conscious effort to want something more than earthly desires can achieve.
Two, there is NO such thing as setting the bar too high! God calls us to be like Him, and while no one is ever perfect, we are to strive for it. Ladies, set your bar at Christ. Focus your heart and soul on your Heavenly Father and watch how God gives you a man crafted from His own heart to yours. Fellas, look to your Heavenly Mother, who remained pure all her life! God has made a woman who is bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. She will be your heart and walk with you toward Heaven. Respect her and wait for her. She will be well worth that wait!
Q: You talk a big game for someone not in a relationship.
A: LOL! How true is that! I have so much faith in God as the champion of my heart that I can!
Q: Do you think it’ll really matter if your future husband is waiting to have sex like you?
A: I could talk for hours on this one, but let me sum it up like this..
Ever since I was a little girl, I was told fairytales. I grew up on the Disney classics of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and more. You see, Disney taught us that a prince will fight for you after only meeting you for the first time. But if there is a man willing to fight for you before he’s even met you, well, that’s better than any fairytale I’ve ever read.
1 John 3:3 Everyone who has this hope based on him makes himself pure, as he is pure.
Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God.
Psalms 51: 9, 12 Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow… A clean heart create for me, God; renew within me a steadfast spirit.